Pete Everett said it so well on The Celebrity Apprentice this week, the two loneliest words in the world are… “what party?”.
We’ve all been there. Being asked by friends if we’re attending an event we never heard about and were quite possibly deliberately left off the guest list for. It’s happened to me countless times and I try not to take it personally. Everyone knows I’m a home body, with no feelings of FOMO to motivate me, happy to sit on the lounge on a Friday night with a packet of crisps and some Allens lollies, catching up on my week of Bold and the Beautiful episodes. Most of my friends know I will say no to going out so tend not to bother inviting me anymore. I get it, and it’s OK, I don’t take it personally… much.
But then there’s the times when it’s something everyone you know is invited to, a New Years party perhaps, and somehow your invite got ‘lost in the post’. It’s then, when it’s so clear that you have been deliberately left out, or just completely forgotten, that you start to wonder who your friends really are and what they truly feel about you.
For most of us our group of friends tends to get smaller the older we get. Our priorities change, we have kids, we move away, we’re busy with our career… it just doesn’t leave much time to maintain alot of close friendships.
When was the last time you needed to reach out to friends in a crisis? Who responded, who came to your aid? Was it the ones you expected, or were you surprised to see who stepped up and answered the call? Sometimes you find out who your true friends really are in the most unexpected of ways.
I chose a long time ago to stop wasting energy on people who never returned the favour. I learnt I don’t have to be everyone’s friend if they weren’t willing to put in the effort to be mine. It occurred to me that it was far better to have 5 close friends than 50 acquaintances you never have any hope of truly knowing. Your worth is not measured by the number of friends you have on your Facebook page.
I suppose in the end, all that’s really important is that we feel valued and respected by the people we choose to spend our time with. If the people you call friends do that, you should never have to utter the words “what party” ever again.