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Posts tagged ‘love’

faith or fiction

faithI was having a conversation with a friend of mine last week about her faith, or lack there of, and I was struck by how many people in my life have chosen a life devoid of faith.

Now, when I say faith I mean it in the traditional sense… a belief in God, or whoever you perceive your higher power to be and whatever name he or she takes.

I grew up under the banner of many religions… Catholic, Baptist, Mormon… and I haven’t attended church regularly since I was a child, but my faith has always been a source of comfort and guidance for me, even though I never had one denomination to call home.

People are usually surprised by my strong belief in God and Jesus, and the bible. I don’t live a particularly “Christian” life and I am certainly not condemning people around me who don’t agree with my beliefs. I support gay marriage, freedom of choice and religions that differ with my own. I drink, listen to R’n’B music (the filthier the better) and did not save myself for marriage (although I wish I had!). I also cuss like a sailor. But throughout my entire life, which was tumultuous at times, there was always one constant, an unwavering faith that a higher power was watching over me who I could go to for guidance and compassion.

Now, by that I don’t mean that I believe there is a man on white throne up in the sky who has a scroll with my name at the top and everything I am to achieve in life is already decided for me. Quite the opposite. I believe in an energy, a power that shows me roads I might take, and even though at times it would like to push me down the right one, is simply a hand on my shoulder as I decide my own journey… and who every now and then gives me a tap to remind me there are other roads to take when we hit a dead end.

At this point people will usually ask me… so do you actually believe that there was a man called Jesus who came from heaven and performed all these crazy miracles? My short answer… Yes. But let me explain how I interpret the Bible.

Do I believe God created the earth in seven days… No. But an energy in the universe created earth and life from nothing. Give that whichever name you wish.

Do I believe in Adam & Eve… No. It’s a nice story though.

Do I believe a virgin gave birth to the son of God… No. Do I believe a woman who was young and innocent gave birth to a special child who would change the world, yes. I believe people are born every day who have a special mission on this earth, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela… Kanye 😉

“So you believe that Jesus could walk on water?”. No. But I believe sometimes we meet people in our lives who make us feel like we could do anything, who inspire us and lift us up until we feel like we could achieve the impossible.

“And what about bringing people back from the dead?”. No. But I believe that someones we meet people who wake us up and make us feel more alive than we ever have.

“Giving sight to the blind?”. No. But haven’t you ever met someone or heard a story that opened your eyes to something you never saw before? Who changed your perception about something and made you look at something in a different way?

“Turning water in to wine?”. No. But we all know people who are so intoxicating that being with them makes you giddy and excited, as though you are drunk.

“Filled empty baskets with fish and bread”. No. But people who sustain us in so many other ways that our soul and heart are full.

“Rose from the dead”. Unfortunately, no. But anyone who has ever lost someone dear to them knows the feeling of carrying them with them after they have passed. Of feeling their presence throughout their day to day lives long after they are dust in the ground.

I think one of the biggest mistakes of the church is that they teach the bible too literally.

Here is what I believe. Really good people are born everyday, people who will selflessly put themselves in harm’s way to help others. I believe there was man called Jesus who was that kind of person. He changed the way people thought, showed love and compassion to society’s undesirables and challenged the establishment in a time when it meant death. Can you really say you have never known or at the very least, read or heard about this type of person?

The bible to me is the (extremely) dramatised version of a simple man’s life. A good man. A man who happily took on the sins of his brothers and died for them.

So when people ask me am I Christian, I say yes. Any by that I mean, I believe in GOOD, the good of everyday people. I also believe in the spiritual realm and in forces greater than myself at work in the world.

I believe.

share the love

I found myself in tears today (not uncommon for a woman who’s 8 months pregnant) considering the momentous change I am about to experience in my life. Could it be that the light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train barrelling towards me?

I’ve waited so long for these last few weeks of my pregnancy and have been looking forward to the prospect of having my body back and gaining some sort of control back over my physical life. Apart from the challenge of breast feeding my body will be mine again and I will never once take for granted what a gift that will be. Although I feel privileged to have grown and carried my child inside me there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t longed to be holding it in my arms and have it out of my body. I just haven’t felt as though I was built for child bearing. If I were a machine you’d paid for to do the job you would have returned me for the poor performance!

In my rush to get to this point I almost forgot about the actual consequences of getting what I’ve been waiting for. Gone will be the days of grabbing my keys and quickly ducking up to the shops, leaving the house with nothing but my phone and lip balm in a cute Burberry clutch, having a late night out knowing I can sleep the day away tomorrow with no distractions. But most of all, I am going to have to share the most precious thing in my life, my husband.

It hit me today like a ton of bricks. After having him all to myself for almost 10 years, there’s going to be someone new in my husband’s life who’s more important than me. There’s going to be someone else he comes home to and is excited to see at the end of the day, someone else that he’s head over heels in love with. It occurred to me that out of our love for each other, we have created something that will change our relationship forever.

photo (1)We’ve promised to keep each other as our number one, to remember that before Bug there was us and that our family will only be as strong as our love and connection. But is there any way to avoid your children becoming your everything and your partner falling in to second place? How do we keep what we have with this new little person in between us needing so much of our time and attention?

With every tick of the clock and every day that passes I know it’s one less moment I get to share with him before life as we know it disappears forever. Standing in the beautiful nursery we’ve created for our baby my only hope is that what all the parents out there tell me is true, that it’s all worth it and that yes it changes everything, but in the best ways possible. That I will not only see a husband beside me but the father of my child and that this new love will supersede anything we shared before.

So babe, in case we get a little lost in the haze of the next few weeks, I just want you to know… You are my everything. I love you in so many ways and for so many reasons. Thank you for every day we’ve shared so far and for all the days to come. You will always be my first and greatest love.

girl brain

We’ve all been there girls. You meet a nice guy, have a few dates, the texts are going back and forth and it’s all exciting and fun but then suddenly, your girl brain gets involved!

Image courtesy of LOVESCENE Magazine

Image courtesy of LOVESCENE Magazine

One of my girlfriends has recently met a new guy and they’ve had a few really great dates. But all of a sudden his text messages aren’t as warm as before, they’re to the point and factual, like when she asked how are you feeling (because he’s been sick) and he simply said, much better thanks (shock horror!). The most frustrating thing for my friend is that he hasn’t asked her to meet up. “I’m always the one who suggests we meet”, she says, “I’m going to wait until he asks me this time”.

Let the games begin!

You would think we would have learnt by now, women I mean, that most men don’t really play games. If they want to see you, they’ll ask to see you, but just because they haven’t asked doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love for you to suggest meeting up. My advice to my friend, if you want to see him, ask him! Why do we this to ourselves? We could all save so much time and heartbreak if we just put ourselves out there in the beginning, were up front and did the asking. The worst thing he can do is say no, I don’t want to see you. If that’s what he’s thinking anyway, playing games and waiting for his text is just going to prolong the inevitable, wouldn’t you rather know either way? You know you’re just going to give in and text him after a few days of not hearing anything anyway.

“But I don’t want to scare him away, I told him I didn’t want anything serious”. Really? If you met a funny, smart, attractive guy who asked for your number and then he text the very next day without waiting the prescribed 3 day rule, would you mind? There is no such thing as coming on too strong when you really like each other (apart from marriage proposals and suggesting babies names on the second date, pace yourselves ladies).

How long before we realise that in these relationship games, we’re only up against ourselves and we’re losing?

To the men out there, please give us a guy’s opinion!! Play games or go for it?

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